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INSIDE: At your age you’ll never be ripped. Torn maybe...not ripped. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Smashing your finger in a car door is nice too. Cracking your tooth is fun. And you can't beat twisting your ankle for a...
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INSIDE: ... when you wake up and find a balloon tied to your wiener. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: It used to be fun when you’d wake up stiff. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: If you’re tempted to stop and smell the roses, I urge you to reconsider. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: You don’t have that “old person smell” yet. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: I’m always surprised by what comes out of your mouth.
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INSIDE: This card would make a lot more sense if your name were Bert.
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INSIDE: Of course, that guy was waaay younger than you. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Wow! You’re really getting up there. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Your dad had a hand in it, too. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: At your age, you should really leave it all tucked in. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: The remote now flushes the toilet. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: You know a lot of people in their hundreds? Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: ...We tend to enjoy life's simple pleasures more. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: I'm sure you can find a date somewhere else. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: At least the old putter still works. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: You're never too old to chase after your dreams! Happy Birthday
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INSIDE: And you thought shrinking with age meant your height! Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: ...you don't have to worry about dying young! Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: And you could pass for a much younger man. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Oh well, how often do you really need to bend over and touch your toes? Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: But you already have one of those. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: You may not use it much anymore, but you've still got it! Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Looks like another one crept up on you. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: But enough about your morning shower. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Your talents never cease to amaze me! Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: You can hug a tree, but going any further is inappropriate.