INSIDE: Congratulations on your amazing new gadget!
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INSIDE: ...and its father's knack for really stinking up a room. Congratulations!
INSIDE: ...with the possible exceptions of holidays, weekends, vacations, after school, snow days, and long car rides.
INSIDE: You'll be able to rest in 18 years.
INSIDE: Congratulations on your sweetest dream come true!
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