Front:With each birthday we gain wisdom.
Inside: ( ...and weight.) Happy Birthday!
Front: If you're feeling positive and upbeat on your Birthday... Inside: ...you must not have the faintest clue as to whats happening to you!
Front: Aging isn't so terrible... Inside: If you get enough mindless sex along the way. Happy Birthday!
Front: "So...how old were you when you lost it?" Inside: ...your grip on reality, that is! Happy Birthday!
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