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Front: Another Birthday, Another Candle...
INSIDE: ...another old broad, too hot to handle! Happy Birthday!

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Front: You know, big butts are in now.
INSIDE: Now if only sagging boobs could make a comeback. Happy Birthday!
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INSIDE: Remember when a quick comb thru was enough? Happy Birthday!

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Front: How can we be getting older?
INSIDE: We still don't know what we want to be when we grow up. Happy Birthday Anyway!

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FRONT: It is one of life's great truths that wisdom comes with age...
INSIDE: ...unless of course, you're a man. Happy Birthday!

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Front: Happy Birthday...
INSIDE: ...Oldilocks!
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