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Front: Growing older is just like riding a bicycle
INSIDE: ...off a cliff. Happy Birthday
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Front: "Call now! Let us make you fit and fabulous, too!"
INSIDE: Unreality TV. Happy Birthday
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(Building has "Glue Factory" on front)
INSIDE: Relax. No one's calling you "Elmer" yet. Happy Birthday!
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Front: With Age Comes Wisdom
INSIDE: For example, do not wear thong underwear when you have hemorrhoids. Happy Birthday!
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Front: I would have made you a cake
INSIDE: ...but I'm so much better at pies. Happy Birthday!
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Front: You're not old until...
INSIDE: ...you need a sports bra to brush your teeth. Happy Birthday!
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FRONT: Younger women can't do the things older women can.
INSIDE: Like growing a mustache! Happy Birthday!
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Front: If you're feeling positive and upbeat on your Birthday...
INSIDE: ...you must not have the faintest clue as to what's happening to you!
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