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INSIDE: Birthdays suck.

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Front: With age comes grace and wisdom
INSIDE: Or not. Happy Birthday!
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Front: [Security… get up here]
INSIDE: Another year under your belt! Happy Birthday!

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Front: Don’t let anyone tell you you’re old.
INSIDE: I wanna. Happy Birthday!

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Front: For your birthday, I filled a hot tub full of apples and gorgeous naked men...
INSIDE: If anybody asks, we're bobbing for apples. Happy Birthday!

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